Mike Monteiro’s newsletters are pretty much always great, and I wish I had the patience to be as dedicated and consistent as he is. I enjoyed reading this one despite my possibly very unpopular opinion about coffee that every now and then will resurface in my brain, so I’ve been sitting on it for a few months. But then last week I listened to the Wirecutter Show’s “Stop Making Bad Coffee” episode, which once again made me feel the urge to express it.
So here it is: if everyone is always struggling to make the perfect cup of coffee, always cycling through new beans, new machines, new grinders, new techniques, without ever being truly satisfied with it, maybe it’s time to accept that coffee is just not that good.
Don’t get me wrong: I love the smell of coffee. When I was a kid my mom would joke that having me around when she opened a new pack meant I’d immediately vacuum up all the flavor by sticking my nose in it. I also like stuff with coffee in it—from ice cream to chocolate to tiramisù.
I just don’t think coffee itself is worth the hassle. I’ll occasionally have a cappuccino or a latte—kind of medicinally, knowing very well what side effect it will have, which I don’t need to specify any further. I’ll make coffee at home sometimes, mostly to enjoy the smell for a few minutes, before it turns the air rancid.
However, I love moka pots, of which I own more than anyone who isn’t really a coffee lover should ever own: a 3-cup, a 6-cup, one specific for barley (which I guess I shouldn’t include in a post about coffee), a 2-cup electric one, a stupid cow-themed one that’s supposed to make cappuccino but all it’s good at is flooding your stove with milk sludge. There may be more. So sometimes I just have to make coffee to justify owning these irresistible objects, only to remind myself that it’s never worth the effort.
Also: tea rules, and anyone who claims it’s fussier than coffee is a liar.